To the One Feeling Sad

To the One Feeling Sad,

I see you.

I see the way you smile, the light not quite reaching your eyes. I see the way your shoulders round, folding under the weight you carry, when you finally allow them to relax from their positions by your ears. I see the way you continue to push­––for your family, for the people that rely on you, for yourself––because pushing forward feels like self-preservation.

I sense your hesitancy to let yourself feel it, the sadness that lurks there in the depths of your being. Maybe because she seems too big, too scary, too all-consuming to acknowledge. Maybe because it seems like if you dip your toes into the water, she will wrap her tentacles around you and pull you to the bottom of the ocean. Maybe because it feels like you’ll drown.

The funny thing about sadness, though, is that ignoring her doesn’t mean she isn’t there. Trust me, I’ve covered my eyes thousands of times hoping that if I couldn’t see it, she couldn’t find me.

I had to learn, I’ve had to continue to re-learn, sadness is not my enemy. Maybe she’s not yours either.

Maybe she’s a reminder that we love. A reminder that, sometimes, we lose.

Maybe she whispers to us that things, that thing, mattered. Matters.

Maybe, when we let her, she teaches us––how to grieve the dreams we gave up, the plans we released, the hopes that we won’t see realized.

When we sit with her, when we honor and accept her, we free ourselves to move past her. We free ourselves from the burden of trying to suppress something that rings true in our hearts.

It is only in acknowledging her that we carve out the space to allow ourselves to move, one step at a time, towards joy.

*If you are struggling with thoughts of harming yourself, you can reach the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 24/7 at 1-800-273-8255, or you can text HOME to 741741 to be connected with a crisis counselor.